As the summer draws to a close and September creeps around the corner, TASTE asks, did you avoid becoming a summer stereotype? Read below to find out which summer holiday tribe you belong to.
The Couple on the Verge
You went to Paris to prove to the world (and all your Facebook friends) that you are both in love with a capital L. Pictures show you kissing beneath the Eiffel Tour, wearing matching mouse ears overlooking the Disneyland castle and looking edgy (and in love) outside the Louvre. The reality is that you split up on the first day, spent you trip crying into complex carbs from the local patisserie and got kicked out of Disney for having a screaming match Solange style on the teacups.
Single Girls Holiday
Basing their annual trip on the WWMICCG motto (Where Would Made In Chelsea’s Cast Go) these twenty-something uni grads channel Millie Mackintosh-come-Moss while lounging in a Croatian villa they found on Airbnb. While they wish they could turn off their iPhones, send postcards and ‘connect’ with one another, instead the day includes hangovers by the pool sipping cheap rose, throwing shade behind a dog-eared Grazia and uploading a constant stream of perfectly executed cliff jumping shots to Twitter/Instagram/Facebook. By night they’re even heavier on the filters and the fake tan application, playing international Tinder and Never Have I Ever. Pass out before midnight on their pool lilo.
Since going to uni you’ve managed shed all evidence of the Gilet glad and Abercrombie obsessed persona you so carefully curated at your private all-girls school. You’ve bagged a boyfriend that does ket and a friend that sells her own ‘garms’ on ASOS Marketplace and now it’s time to up the ante, don your extensive bindi collection and head to some off the wall festival with repetitive music and too many floral headbands. You pay £150 in the hopes that you’ll ‘discover’ the next Klingande. Instead you get drunk on Aperol spritz by noon, unable to leave the tepee that is playing Pharrell’s Happy for the 197th time.
The Long term Lovers
Dream of joining friends in Berlin but end up alone together in Cornwall B&B (again). Pretend to rather have a holiday that includes egg sandwiches, surfing and Breaking Bad over late night kebabs and warehouse raves. Imagine the weekend will also involve sun, sex and some questionable surfing and connecting as a couple. Instead you pretend to have diarrhoea just so you can dart into a pub and use the wifi for 30 blissfully uninterrupted minutes.
The Yoga Bore
Reformed wild child who can’t stop telling people how ‘centred’ they are since taking up the stretchy stuff this summer. Longs for Jennifer Anniston arms and the clarity of Hilary Clinton. When not discussing the downward dog to anyone that will listen, Yoga Bore waxes lyrical about the damaging effects of refined sugar and how important it is to ‘eat clean’. By ‘eating clean’ they are referring to spending three hours and roughly £50 on making ‘healthy’ kale and avocado cheesecake that still contains 99% of their daily fat intake and tastes like burnt grass.
The Gap Yah
You just finished your last year in school or uni, panicked and booked an overpriced 11 month trip to Australia/ Thailand / Bali to avoid your parents questioning and the threat of pending adult responsibility. You wear those ‘alternative’ trousers you bought last year in Zara but never had the balls to wear and organise the rest of your clothes according to day and activity, fantasizing about zip slides, hot boys and rainforest raves. Instead you spend the first month stranded and broke in rural Oz working as a sheep farmer trying to save up enough to hitchhike to the nearest city so you can email your parents for more cash. You’re not so hopefully about the next ten months.